


House of Cards

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Pre-Relationship, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 06:11:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17198006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Celestia knew she was bound to suffer an inevitable downfall, and that sooner or later she was going to collapse hard, with nobody to save her from herself... Or that's what she thought until the exact same moment in which Kyoko takes care of her during her breakdown.





	House of Cards

Kyoko Kirigiri knew she was head over heels in love with Taeko Yasuhiro, who was mostly known as Celestia Ludenberg —she wouldn’t have gone out on dates with her, gave her gifts, stared at her longingly, crave her touch and yearn for her presence if she wasn’t madly in love with her— despite her reluctance to utter those words aloud… Although that was mostly because she was a nervous wreck when it was about feelings.

What she hadn’t expected at all was to have fallen so deeply for the gambler to even be outside the door of her dorm at 3 AM on a weekday.

As she raised her right hand, the phone call they had had minutes ago began to replay once more in her mind.

* * *

_“Celes-san?” Kyoko asked, her voice groggy and her head spinning ever so slightly. It was almost 3 AM when her phone rang, abruptly waking her up._

_“K-K… I n-need help.” Kyoko sat on her bed at speed record, unease filling the pit of her stomach. Celes’ voice was shaky and broken, and it looked like she had needed to do great effort to whisper those three —she hadn’t been able to say her name after all— words._

_“What’s wr—Celes?” The other girl had hung up._

* * *

 

Kyoko shook her head, knocking the door thrice as she felt her anxiety creeping throughout her entire body. The detective was 99% sure that Celes was in her dorm, the goth hadn’t mentioned anything about attending a gamble tournament or something of the kind that night after all, but the chance of her being elsewhere was there.

No response.

The detective was about to knock again when something snapped within her head. Celes had called her practically at 3 AM, asking for help in the most vulnerable and wrecked voice Kyoko had **_ever_ **heard, which meant that the chances of Celes being in pain or just needing her were sky-high.

Her hand travelled down to the door’s handle, tentatively grabbing it and moving it downwards. Lilac eyes widened when the door clicked and opened.

_“Celes either left the door unlocked on purpose… Or she’s out and forgot to lock it.”_

Kyoko gulped before pushing the door gently, muttering a quiet “sumimasen” when she entered the room since she felt like she was intruding despite being required there.

“Celes?” Kyoko questioned as she closed the door, her eyes soon finding the gambler when she turned around from the entrance.

The detective’s heart stopped whilst her mind began to race, her eyes locked on Celestia’s bleeding arm. Hadn’t she had her gag reflex under control, she would have puked her guts out there and then.

Blood fell to the floor —to a small puddle of blood that stained the ebony floor— in an almost rhythmic way, each _‘clack’_ breaking the overwhelming silence that reigned within Celes’ dorm yet making it more tense at the same time.

“I-I’ll be right back.” Kyoko muttered before getting out of Celes’ room and running towards her own. The detective entered the place, walked into the bathroom and grabbed the first-aid kit she kept in a small, lilac cupboard in case of necessity.

Kyoko rushed back to Celes’ room, and to her own surprise, Celes was even more distressed than when she had first found her.

Red eyes met purple ones, and Kyoko swore she had never seen such despair and fear in Celes’ eyes.

The detective took in every single detail: how Celes wasn’t wearing her usual attire but a green hoodie and yoga pants, how her hair lacked the twin drills she worse so adamantly, the way Celes’ body shook, the dry tears on Celes’ cheeks, the small yet refined black dagger that was nearby Celes’ feet, of which blade was covered in blood… She took in everything.

Slowly so as to not frighten the gambler, she approached Celes.

Red eyes examined her, observed everything she did, before narrowing. “I swear to God, if you…” But Celes couldn’t finish her threat since she was silenced by Kyoko hugging her tightly after leaving the med-kid on the bed.

Despite her best efforts, Celes hadn’t intimidated Kyoko at all. In fact, she had looked like a wounded and scared kitten more than a scary being who could snatch someone’s head in the blink of an eye like she tended to look like… Or at least try to look like either way.

Kyoko quickly separated from the gambler and with shaky hands grabbed softly and gently Celes’ bleeding arm. Blood was oozing from the large, deep wound that was more or less two inches and a half long, but it could have been worse. The wound could have been larger, deeper… It could have been oozing more blood than it was, it **_should_ **have been bleeding more, but that must have been Celes’ doing.

Kyoko operated with the med-kit with her left hand as she caressed Celes’ untouched skin softly whenever she could as a way to comfort her.

“This is going to hurt a bit,” Kyoko warned before applying hydrogen peroxide throughout the wound. Celes hissed, jumping slightly before going stiff.

“Almost done, okay?” The detective reassured, dipping a piece of cotton in betadine. Kyoko moved the cotton throughout the wound softly and carefully, pleased with the result when she had finished treating the wound. She slowly dressed it up, trying to not tie the dressing too tightly in order to prevent unnecessary pain.

Celes looked at her arm with sad eyes when Kyoko moved away to place everything back in place in her med-kit. When she saw the detective get up out of the corner of her eye, she panicked again.

“I’m going to grab you something to eat to regain blood,” the detective mumbled, but was stopped by Celes, who grabbed the sleeve of her sweatshirt with her healthy arm.

The gambler was looking at the floor, but her grip was strong and firm.

“Stay with me, please…”

“B-But, you need to eat something. You lost a fair amount of blood…” Kyoko mumbled, looking at Celes’ face thoroughly.

“Not now.”

The detective raised her eyebrows, a bewildered look on her usually emotionless face, but didn’t press the issue any further.

“Then tell me what happened, please…” The purplette begged, her voice soft and filled with worry. Celes let go of her sweatshirt. She was a bit dizzy, and it was noticeable in the way she moved, but she was stubborn as Hell, so Kyoko couldn't do much apart from being ready to rush to the kitchen if needed. There must have been some dried fruits and nuts within some cupboards for sure after all.

The gambler hugged herself, as if she was trying to make herself somewhat smaller. “You’ll hate me.”

That took Kyoko by surprise. The amount of conviction that lay underneath those four words was shocking, even more than the actual meaning of Celes’ statement.

“Try me.” Kyoko dared softly, sitting down next to Celes.

Minutes passed, minutes in which Celes opened her mouth here and then but then closed it with a grunt, before the gambler finally spoke.

“I’m a monster.” Celes whispered, avoiding Kyoko’s eyes.

Before Kyoko could deny it, Celes placed her left hand slowly, because of the stinging wound, over Kyoko’s right gloved one.

“I’ve sunk so many people into poverty, despair and madness after gambling matches or tournaments… I’ve destroyed so many dreams and hopes, doomed more families than I want to know, wrecked so many people… And yet I still want to… I still **_have to_ **be Celestia Ludenberg…” Celes declared, feeling an overwhelming amount of pressure against her chest, against her heart.

“If I ever stop gambling, it’s game over for me. That’s the only good thing I’m good at, Kir—Kyoko… If I stop, I’ll be fall back to the mediocrity I was born into, and I don’t want that. But if I continue, I won’t stop hurting so many people who may come from the same background as me, people who may need the money to pay for medicine, and so on and so forth.”

Kyoko rubbed her thumb against the back of Celes’ hand when she noticed that the gambler was starting to hyperventilate.

“I am so afraid of being rejected if I drop the whole act too… The possibility of everyone being let down by the real me is still there, and it scares me. I don’t want to be alone again, so that’s why I have to keep hiding my true self under my mask.” Celes looked like a blown house of cards, crumbling slowly but greatly, hope flying away from her until the point where Celes wasn’t able to get it back...

Celes looked at Kyoko, and red eyes met purple ones again as if two old lovers had reunited for the first time in hundreds of years.

“Everytime I think that my real personality has somehow managed to surpass my mask, I… I punish myself for being so weak, so stupid, so... So damn unworthy of everything I have in my life yet brag about when I’m under the influence of my Celestia mask.” Kyoko nodded. She had seen multiple faded scars on Celes’ body in some past occasions, but marked it as gambling scars… It seemed that now she knew what they actually were. “I was on edge today so I overdid it…” Celes sighed, shook her head and fixed her gaze on Kyoko’s again

“Do you… Want to die?” Kyoko asked softly, watching carefully the gambler’s features.

“No.” Celes replied honestly. “Despite my self-hatred, I do not desire to die… I just… Punish myself as a reminder of my past mistakes, of moments in which I have been weak, of situations in which my Celestia mask slipped too much for comfort… Yet I don’t want to die.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have… I could have supported you! I could have reassured you, comforted you… Why didn’t you tell me this before, Taeko? You wouldn't have suffered as much...” Kyoko whispered, her eyes stinging from tears that had been held back for a little while. Tears that matched the ones that were running down the gambler’s cheeks.

“Because I was sure I’d scare you away.” Celes admitted, biting her lower lip to bite down a sob.

“I’m still here.” Kyoko said with a sad smile. “Can’t you see me? I haven’t left you, I’m by your side in all the possible meanings of the expression.”

That was enough to make Celes burst into tears and sobs. Kyoko bit her lip as she shook her head before hugging Celes one more time.

“We’ll figure a way out, okay? You and me, together… We are going to find a way out.” Kyoko soothingly whispered into Celes’ ear, caressing her back as the gambler cried harder.

“I have you, Taeko… Everything is going to be okay, trust me.”


End file.
